TRANSPIRE LIFE

I'm in a Documentary and I didn't even know it.....

2008-03-10T13:53:00.000-07:00

So the other night I'm driving home with holly and i get a text message from Tara Ward that says, "did you know that you are on MTV right now?" Then i get another one from the manager at the green lake bar and grill that says the same thing. I call Tara back and ask her first, "why are you watching MTV? and second, what do you mean i'm on MTV?"

Turns out that it was an episode of True Life and they were showing a smaller version of a documentary that recently came out called "A Map For Saturday."

I met Brook in August of 2005 at a hostel in London and ended up hanging out with him and my friend Brian Ulrich for the day. He told us his story of quitting HBO and setting out to travel the world for a year... and documenting it the whole time.

well, lo and behold... it became a film.

enjoy

"i want to be indiana jones when i grow up."

2008-02-25T12:12:00.001-08:00

this is exactly what i said when i was 8.
it's still true today. i'm stoked for this film!

orphans and art

2008-02-19T00:25:00.000-08:00

african collaborative pieces from november 07

these are pictures of a series of collaborative paintings i did for a show at the urban artworks gallery in alpharetta, GA back in november of 07. the whole show was a benefit for heart for africa and the show was called "faces of hope."

my wife and i got to go to kenya with heart for africa in july of 07 and we headed up art education programs with the orphans. one of the things we wanted to do from this trip was to bring back some art from the children and be able to sell them at the show in order to raise more money for them.

now i've been in some conversations with worldvision and other organizations about selling art made by children. it's a good idea... i think it hits the heart... but i just don't think it works. why? well because i don't think people wanting to buy art are going to fork out a lot of money on something that looks similar to the work in their kids classroom. maybe i'm wrong... but i don't think i am.

so how do we solve this?

i was showing a bunch of other pieces at this show. these panels that these kids had painted on were just sitting around my studio as i was making other work for the show. in this process of just being there, i had this idea. if people were going to buy my work because they liked it (along with a number of other reasons), then what if i could add my purchasing momentum to their work? i was there. i had them make these pieces and i took their picture. i'm wrapped up in this story as it is.... so why not add my interpretation to these kids and their story?

so i matched up the paintings and their pictures, and i painted on them. an instant collaboration.... from over 10,000 miles apart.

and that's where these paintings came from.

we would like to do more of this someday. get more artists involved and do a giant collaborative show with the orphans. we'll see what transpires.....

surf the puget sound!

2008-02-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

If you are a surfer and you live in seattle, you have to drive 2 1/2 hours to get to the nearest break.
but.... on really windy days in the puget sound, you can find places that have a small little break.
and just to ease the itch, you might find tim wicks and myself frolicking in the small waves of edmonds in our own "secret" spot.
here's a little video.....

Church Art

2008-02-04T09:36:00.000-08:00

My dad, who is great but sends trying not to be lame forwards, sent me this article by Chuck Colson... which is a really great comment. Thanks Dad!

Made for Beauty | January 31, 2008
Art, Worship, and the Bible

The neighbors watched the new church building go up in just one month—and what a sight it was! The church was a squat, square building made of unrelieved concrete. On the inside was garish red carpeting. A massive parking lot surrounded the church.
Nothing could possibly have been uglier—and the fact that so many Christians build church structures like this reveals how far Christians have strayed from the place beauty and art are meant to have in our lives.
As the late Francis Schaeffer notes in his book, Art and the Bible, we evangelicals tend to relegate art to the fringes of life. Despite our talk about the lordship of God in every aspect of life, we have narrowed its scope to a very small part of reality. But the arts are also supposed to be under the lordship of Christ, Schaeffer reminds us. Christians ought to use the arts "as things of beauty to the praise of God."
This is exactly what God commanded regarding the building of His Tabernacle. As Schaeffer says, "God commanded Moses to fashion a tabernacle in a way [that] would involve almost every form of representational art that men have ever known." In Exodus 25, for example, God instructs Moses to make for the Holy of Holies "two cherubim of gold; of beaten work shalt thou make them."
In other words, God was commanding that works of art be made: a statuary representation of angels.
Outside the Holy of Holies, lampstands were to be placed—that is, candlesticks of pure gold, decorated with representations of nature: almond blossoms and flowers.
And then we have the descriptions of the priestly garments. Upon their skirts were to be designed pomegranates of blue, purple, and scarlet.
Does God value beauty for beauty's sake? It seems He does. Consider the two columns Solomon set up before the Temple. He decorated them with a hundred pomegranates fastened upon chains, as God commanded. These two free-standing columns supported no architectural weight and had no engineering significance, Schaeffer writes. "They were there only because God said they should be there as a thing of beauty."
And this brings us back to those ugly church buildings we often build. No wonder non-Christians often remark on the ugliness of our churches—an ugliness that is off-putting to anyone sensitive to beauty. We have forgotten that beauty is not achieved, as some argue, just to draw people into the church, but because it is a form of praise to the God who designed and created magnificent mountains, delicate flowers, and our beautiful children.
No doubt you have seen churches that have crossed the line from beautiful to garish, where opulence is more valued than true beauty. Indeed, historically, the Protestant reaction to opulent church furnishings was to seek beauty in simplicity. And that is fine too. But every congregation, no matter how small its budget, should ensure that its facilities, humble though they may be—and in some parts of the world, they are very, very primitive—nonetheless, are tasteful and reflect the beauty of the Creator.
The God we worship glories in beauty.

new 5 Spot painting

2008-01-29T17:30:00.000-08:00

I used to work at the 5 Spot restaurant on Queen Anne in Seattle. And even though I don't work there anymore, they still let me make paintings for their festivals. They have a new festival every 3 months, where they have a theme with special menu items and the whole restaurant gets redecorated. It's very cool and it keeps a awesome restaurant constantly awesomer.

This seasons theme is Route 66. I picked the skyview drive in as my painting subject. And above is what I came up with.

Now I know I have done a steve zissou before.... but i'm really not obsessed with the movie. i really like it, i think the characters are all really cool, and i think the film has a semi-cult following. that's my reason for making a movie poster for the skyview drive in.

so here it is for all to love! be sure to go to the actual restaurant to see it in person!

Carlsbad Marathon & Sometimes Arting is Awkward

2008-01-22T11:36:00.000-08:00

This last weekend, i painted at the Carlsbad Marathon in Calrsbad, CA. 60 people were running for Heart for Africa, raising money to build a school in Swaziland for 200 orphans. Heart for Africa ended up being one of the official non-profits for the marathon, which is huge. I was invited to come down and paint at this event in hopes that the paintings i made would be auctioned off and most of the proceeds would be donated to the El Shaddai school.

Everyone who was involved is great and holly and i had the best time down there. my props to caroline mcgraw for putting all this together and all her tireless work for the children who have very little hope in africa. she is doing all she can for them, and it is an inspiration to anyone to see the joy in choosing to do what God really said about taking care of orphans and widows. and to the mcgraw family, you guys rock! thanks tom for letting me use you wetsuit and board for a great time in the water. shaun and ian, "bien sur, je vous veux!" lauren and christen, you're my D O double G's.

Some thoughts:

I think with anyone who is an artist and especially if there is a performance aspect to your work, you are definitely going to come across moments that are awkward and embarrasing. I like what i do, and i think the creating in public places is a very cool and engaging thing. but it works better in certain situations than others. it works well with musicians in a concert setting, with speakers, in churches or music halls... but at 730 in the morning in a parking lot during a marathon... it just felt a little out of place to me. now understand, i might be one of the only people who feel this way. many people expressed enjoyment, wonder, and thanks that i was there and that they loved my work. in fact, the woman who puts on the 3rd largest marathon in the nation came up to me and said how much she enjoyed me there and i was invited to come back next year. pretty cool. but as i was painting african orphans on sunday morning, on bleachers in front of a stage with a cheesy cover band playing, while people are stretching out all around me, i couldn't help but feel a little out of place.

there was one point when all of our group was at the finish line cheering on the runners, and i was there by myself, that i particularly felt this way. i was there and there was this thought like "what am i doing here? this is so wierd..." but even though i was feeling this way, what could i do? this is what i'm here for, and i have to do it.

in most every painting i've ever done, there is a point at which i hate the painting and i want to quit. it's actually a very normal part of painting. in fact i think it's a very normal part of creating. i even think about marriage too... when there is this time that you want to give up and start over... but if you keep going, you can create something better than you ever imagined. this happens with art, i've learned. whenever you come to this spot, you have to keep going. if you don't you never know what will come out. if was easy to get it out, everyone would be an artist. the difficulty is to keep going to bring that creation out. that's what makes great art... the perseverence to keep going.

anywho, i wanted nothing more than the permission to leave the steps. but i knew i couldn't. so i just kept going. the organizer came over to me. the paintings were all made. and then they will be sold and the money will go to orphans in africa. and who knows what else.....

you only get to find out in completion.

i never knew that being an artist would make me experience so many moments of vulnerability and awkwardness. but through all that, it has opened doors of success and achievement. it seems like these two go hand in hand often. that's good to know as i keep going.....

Winter Youth, Portland OR

2008-01-04T16:30:00.000-08:00

Along with all the festivities that go on during this time of year, for the third year in a row i was invited to be the artist in residence at the WinterYouth Conference down in Portland, or PDX as her friends know her. What does this mean? Basically, I paint with all the speakers, creating visual memorials of what is being discussed and helping us remember the journey we are on. and i'm just around to encourage all the would be artists who need encouraging.

it was an encouraging weekend. i did about 7 paintings in all... and had fantastic feedback from everyone. those conferences wipe me out though. by the second day i had bags under my eyes even though i was sleeping 7 hours a night. i guess i'm not as young as i use to be.

the best part of this conference was who i go to work with.

Rick
The speaker for the first two days was Rick McKinley. a great down to earth pastor who would make the lutheran pastors of my upbringing cringe.... because he's not the slick suit wearing guy we all imagine. he's short, stalky.. big guy with a huge chin gotee. He's very genuine and a delight to listen too. Rick is the pastor of Imago Dei church in Portland, where also his good friend Donald Miller hangs as well. I get the churches podcast as well. i think the things that they are saying are just awesome... and something that we really need to hear in this part of the world.

www.imagodeicommunity.com

http://www.imagodeicommunity.com/ricks-blog/

Chris
The other guy who spoke was Chris Seay, who i had never heard of, but turns out he is an awesome guy doing very creative work with poverty, changing the way we think about money, and helping us understand the Bible in new ways. He's all over the place so i'll just put down links to all the stuff he is doing.

http://www.hearthevoice.com/

http://www.2115taft.org/

http://www.xnil.org/

http://www.theworkofthepeople.com/index.php?ct=store.details&pid=V00463

Joel
and last but not least, was the music worship leader. Joel West is a great musician and an even better designer down in San Diego. He came into this whole conference doing nothing but hymns in a kind of decemberists/josh ritter style that was so right on. i think kids were a little not into at first, but by the end they had owned it. it was refreshing in a culture that can be fairly autonomous in all that it does.

www.joelpwest.com

so that's that. i had a great time and i hope to be around next year!

also
here is a video that the media guy made during the conference....

Cattle Drive

2007-12-28T00:44:00.000-08:00

In June of this year, I went with 3 friends (Steve Shurtleff, David Knutsen, Shawn Ryan) to Idaho and went on a cattledrive at the 4-D ranch. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. Here's a little video to commemorate it.

art that has no power

2007-12-13T19:45:00.000-08:00

i'm in philly right now visiting some friends for a week. jack the dog is chewing on a bone at my feet. holly and jenny are talking about soup.

holly and i went to the philadelphia art museum yesterday. went walked around til our legs hurt and had to sit down with weak coffee in the museum cafeteria. There are some really great pieces of art at this museum. really famous works that i saw all through my undergraduate degree on slides in classes that i usually had a ten minute nap in every day. if you come here, you should definately check it out.

a couple things struck me from that experience.

one

being a maker of art, it's weird to see a bunch of people pay money and in their leisure time, walk around and look at what people have created. i think what gets me about it is that art seems to be made in boring, lonely places where nobody is watching... namely your studio. it's not a glamorous process. it's just... well it is what it is. for me, it's just what i do. and that process is mixed up with all the doubt, triumphs, hopes of making a living and being profound... yadda yadda yadda.... it's just what i do. it's not an event. i don't think i'm making myself very clear. i guess one of the other things that i felt as well as that being an artist isn't necessarily your parents first wish at financial success for you. i remember talking to a co-worker of my mom's (a doctor) as i was doing my undergrad, and i told him that i was thinking about being an art major. he looked at me and said i should go into business. (nice.) but that's one opinion that i seem to come across a lot. being an artist isn't an easy road and there is not a lot of financial pay off... and along with all that there isn't a general audience urging you on. in fact it feels like a more general cheer is to get a real job and be responsible. so to see people pay and gawk at pieces of work that artists have created as a sort of entertainment... it was just a really wierd experience. i guess it made me wonder if all my hard work would have the same response later on in life.

which leads me to

two

out of all the art that i saw... there wasn't much that really blew my mind. now this could be to blame for my sore legs and possibly short attention span, but nothing really got me while i stood in the presence of it. not like music does at least. you go to a concert... it's a very emotional experience. i want the visual to be like that. i have had some experiences like that with viewing a visual piece. (and i will say that this was my own opinion on one day of my life... so it's not an a across the board statement of belief). and i have liked those pieces i've seen. in fact, the day before we came across the lineage gallery and saw a show by sam flores. very cool stuff. but i guess nothing that day really moved me. it made me think about something my friend jeremy said to me about painting and what to paint. he said that we should paint what we want to see hanging in a gallery. "when you walk into a gallery, what do you want to see?"

i guess this is my burden... task even as an artist. maybe not for others, but just for me.
i do think this will take me a greater part of my life though. this causes me to sigh, yes... but it makes me want to try as hard as i can to accomplish this.

what does art with power look like?

i'm dumb

2007-12-07T15:23:00.000-08:00

here is a little meaningless video....

Rick Steves....

2007-11-19T09:23:00.000-08:00

Last night.... i sold a painting to Rick Steves.

Not that Rick is a huge celebrity like Brad Pitt... or is he?
If you've traveled, you've most likely seen his book and maybe even have used it.
so in some regards, he is an international star... along the lines of Jared from subway (except way cooler).

I was painting at this even called the U2charist, a worship service to end global poverty, and Rick was there sharing his words about the world, traveling, and how he thought we as americans could be involved in global justice issues. For a travel guide, he had some serious opinions, and his talk wasn't easy for the casual listener. and even though i enjoyed all those opinions and words, i still found myself wanting him to give descriptions on early european architecture or the best place to get gelato in Rome. I have to admit that if i'm watching TV at 7pm on a weekday, i watch his travel show. it beats entertainment tonight for sure.

anywho, after all the hub bub and clean up, holly and i ran into him and his wife anne on the way out. we got to talking, shook hands.... he really liked what i did and thought that i had a gift to give the world (nice... hence journaling that moment in my blog). he inquired what was going to happen to the painting and i told him i was hoping someone would buy it so i could support my artist lifestyle. he asked home much i was hoping to get. i said i would be happy with a hundred bones.... and right there, he pulled out his wallet, took out a benjamin, and bought the painting. trinity lutheran turns out to be his church and he said he wanted to give it to the church as a memorial of this event.

i thanked him. he said he hoped we met again. we parted ways.

this meeting, in the scheme of things, was fairly insignificant. but it's hilarious to me. it's funny to me the people that i've gotten to meet by being a live painter. no one who makes magazine covers, but people who i think are interesting and affecting the world... in some kind of way. it's such weird and glorious job, and i just want to remember these fun moments and remind myself that i love what i'm doing.... and i want to keep doing it, even when it sucks at times.

but rick steves... he's my dogg.

Alpharetta Art Show

2007-11-04T19:52:00.000-08:00

it's sunday night. my last night in georgia. i'm sitting in my friend mann's house typing out this blog entry as the final cap to a busy today.

i only arrived three days ago... and in those three days i've done an 3 assemblies at a school, a concert in atlanta, painted at an art show where i was the main artist showcasing work, signed posters, went to meet a greets, varnished a painting in someone's living room, went to the hospital to visit my friends new born (which when they picked me up from the airport callie was still pregnant), made t-shirts for africa, stayed in three different homes, stayed out til 3am on friday with an old friend from bible school who lives here now, and ate at chick fil-a two times.

it's been a very ecclectic weekend.

it's been cool to be here. very wierd though. weird in the sense as you see your life through your own eyes... and you get really used to it. the art work i do, the things i live through, it all becomes just the norm. i'm not ungrateful for it... it's just my life, you know? so i come out here for this art show, which was a fund raiser for Heart for Africa, and because i'm the main artist at this show, they have hyped me up a bunch and people no about me. at this school i went to, kids new my artwork and were asking me about my paintings. all very cool... but in my head i'm just like "ah... i'm very ordinary and not that big of a deal." and i'm not. i don't think i am. and i get there response. i get used to my work and my painting live. it's nothing new to me. but seen through new eyes, i forget it's impactful... that it brings people joy and i some ways it's inspirational to them. so when they express gratitude, i know what they mean, and i'm thankful for their words. it's just bizarre being in my skin because i think a lot of my life is lived in quiet monotonous places.

i was thinking about all the artwork at that show. it was all made in my studio... which is cool, but it's just me there. i'm painting away, listening to music or books or talks online... just doing my thing. but then take all that work and put it all together in a show and invite a lot of people to it... it then becomes an impactful experience. and people want to shake your hand and tell you their appreciation for it..... it's a great experience, but all very wierd. i don't know if i'm explaining this quite right. thanks for bearing with me.

it's just that i think making great work or doing anything of importence usually starts in boring unexciting environments. with creating, it's usually the quiet trying times that the work is produced in. no one is there but you. it's a very simple place.

but when it comes to an audience, it becomes this thing that moves people and starts something.....
it's a very interesting experience.

well, i hope that made sense in some way to you the reader.

thanks to all who helped with the show, who took care of me by giving me food and a place to sleep, and all those who encouraged me with the words and hugs. i had a great time in alpharetta.
can't wait for my next show there....

Give Me Jesus

2007-11-01T07:55:00.000-07:00

i'm stuck here at Sea-Tac airport cause i forgot to bring my paper tickets to the airport as i'm going to Atlanta today. i haven't used paper tickets in years.... and i dumbly blanked last night as i was packing everything. so here i am, waiting for holly to bring me them later on. not only is it a 5 hour flight there... but now i get to wait 5 more hours in the airport as well.

sorry to be a downer.... i'm kind of gruppy.

anywho, yesterday i made a video. it's just a photo montage to a song by fernando ortega called "give me jesus". it's a fairly simple song, but i love it. i've been collecting pictures for it for the last month and i finally just put it all together.

i've written and erased some thoughts on this video about 5 times now. so i'll just leave it as is....

tour over

2007-10-21T08:14:00.000-07:00

saturday morning... sitting at the franklins house for breakfast. jason walks into the room with puffy wet eyes. "my father-in-law died this morning.... i need to get back to georgia... today."

we changed tickets for him and he got a flight out of san francisco intstead of LA. we drove from fresno all the while jason took calls from family and friends either making plans or talking through the mornings scenario.

we spent the day in frisco doing touristy things. we went to in n out burger. drove across the golden gate bridge. drove down lombard street. went to china town. all this to just pass the time until we took him to the airport. they were fun events. it's just hard when you want to go somewhere, but you can't get there immediately... it's hard to just wait and do nothing.

jonathan is coming with me to seattle... to help with the long drive.
we've been debriefing each other and trying to work out all of our feelings about the tour ending.

this, for us, isn't just some thing we decided to do because we didn't have anything else going on. it was a planned artistic performance we have been dreaming up for awhile. it's been a rocky start as well. small audiences. learning to work together. fine tuning our set. not a lot of money. these first four shows were like the lame shows of the set. and we were stoked for the last five. good audiences. set payment. close proximity to one another...

and now that's all ended. just like that. jason goes home to grief and loss, and we drive back to seattle maybe breaking even.

it's hard to not feel like we failed. not that we did. events that are bigger than any of our artistic endeavors came around and changed our plans. so we have to roll with it.

i'm not sure what to make of it. i need to shower and get driving. maybe in another blog i'll make sense of it all.

worst show ever

2007-10-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

www.lessismoretour.com | Fresno, CA

we walked into the "venue" yesterday and immediately began laughing. we were skeptical of the place already, since we found out it was in room 101 of the industrial technology building on the campus of fresno state university. the room was an older lecture hall... off white walls, stadium seating, flourescent lighting.....
all the no no's of creating an intimate concert/conversational setting.

we don't know a lot of people in fresno anyway, so we were relying on the social contacts of the people who were hosting us. it turns out that this friday night was the worst possible night to do a show in fresno... for three artist who don't have very much draw and aren't famous at all. there was a huge high school football game, college sports, college groups retreats for the few people we know... etc etc.

you get the picture.

but we did the show anyway. with ten people scattered throughout the lecture hall. with a mike taped to a metal pole we found in the closet. with flourescent lighting in all it's glory. we did it.

we decided in albany (also a weakly attended show) that no matter how many people came, no matter what the circumstances, we would put on the best show we could. this is a hard thing to do mind you. it's a very vulnerable thing to perform. jason put it this way: it's like growing up in front of an audience. it can be awkward and very personal... but you still have to put it out there. it helps when the venue is fantastic, there is a large crowd with a lot of buzz... these things add to the overall concert experience and being vulnerable on stage is not so bad then. but to be in bad lighting, no audience, horrible sound and setting.... it's just plain old awkward.

this sounds so cliche.... but integrity is not what you do in front of everyone, but what you do in front of no one. integrity is who you are in front of yourself, and how well you live in those circumstances. in this situation, i think anyone would be empathetic to our situation and would not be down on us if we just wanted to bag the whole thing and go hang out with our fresno friends. seriously, it was a poorly planned event. but we decided to do it. and there is something to that.

i know that i will fight feelings of entitlement my whole life. i am a product of my culture. i expect things to be a way and when they are not i am pissed about it and just want to give up and go be comfortable. and i'll admit while performing in a lecture hall, with hardly an audience, and a doubtful monetary payoff for the whole thing, i wanted to just walk off stage and vent to someone about the whole thing.

but i shut my mouth and just did it.

mind you, this action doesn't deserve any recognition or pat on the back. for me it was just another way to keep my ego in check. to keep me humble and realize that what i have isn't the greatest thing in the world. to position me in a stance that says to serve is better than to be served. and that if no one sees this inward struggle, and if there is no pay off... my Lord sees this, and in fact, takes delight in the response to these situations. when it really comes down to it, living the artist life really matters to an audience of One. i could try to judge it against the eyes of men... but his opinions fluctuate constantly to the next big thing and that rat race seems like a dead end street. for me, i believe who i am as an artist and what i do really matter in the eyes of one who never changes.

he gave me this gift. and it's not hard to imagine that at the end of my life, he might want to know how i used it for the good of others. i think these little instances of character matter in the greater scheme of my life. if i can't be responsible in small things, how could i be responsible in the big things i hope to experience and accomplish in my life?

ok... i'll stop be so philosophical.

we had a good laugh at the whole thing.

you can probably see a video on www.lessismoretour.com

so that's that...

how do you make new work?

2007-10-06T09:42:00.000-07:00

I went to my friend kristen's art opening last night. it was a multi artist show just up the street at the phinney neighborhood center. She had three paintings up, which i really liked... but i always like her stuff. she was getting ready to leave when i arrived, and i had only 10 minutes to look around, so we walked out chatting together.

kristen is an artist i really respect. she moved from figurtive work to abstract about four years and has made some fantastic paintings. she's thinking about grad school as well... but deliberating over the 60 G fee.

as soon as we walked outside kristen exclaimed, "Scott, what are we doing with our lives!" this is mostly in reference to being painters. i said i felt like i was just on auto pilot getting work done for shows. she said she might have to punch me to wake me up. (fight club moment? maybe...) i asked her what she meant.

she said she felt like she wanted to make new work, but she didn't even know what that looked like and she didn't know how to do it. she said she could still just make abstract work and she would definitely make new stuff... but she wanted to evolve, to do something new....

i told her that i wanted the exact same thing.

i felt like the work i have been creating for months is exactly the same... and it bores me. i need to evolve, to go to the next plateau.... but how? how do you make new work? maybe this is wierd for some of you who are not artists. so let me explain it a bit. every artist has their style... some people call in your "significance." this is basically what makes your work recognizable. when you see a van gogh, you know it's him. or a warhol. or a rothko.... they all have a look. they have all found their significance. even though you can see growth in their work, they have found their thing.

kristen and i don't really feel like we have found our significance. i definately think we are on that road, but no where near the end. so how does one get their significance? here's the funny thing... you can't consciously choose it. it comes with just creating all the time for years. you basically stumble upon it more than decide what you want it to be. so the only way to get to it is to keep creating all the time. then one day, you have it.

this is a frustrating journey... yet grand at the same time. i think kristen and i are in one of the many obstacles to being great artists.... the obstactle of not giving up.

i want to evolve. i want to grow. i want to make new work that i think is great.
but where do i start? so many options.

kristen and i vowed to keep going. so we will. and it's good to have a friend to keep journeying with. i feel like i have many artists to do that with. and that makes me blessed.

i don't want to forget....

2007-09-20T12:09:00.000-07:00

I came across this image yesterday as i was researching pictures for a project i'm doing for WorldVision. It's a young man who has suffered some of the consequences of the Darfur conflict.

I can't get it out of my mind. I don't know what to do with it.

I'm ready this book called "the dangerous act of worship" by mark labberton. it's about worship in the context of God... but it really doesn't have much to do with music and services. He says our major response in worship to God scripturely is micah 6:8... to do justice, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God. He says that the north american churches silence and uninvolvement with world justice issues and local justice problems comes from our lack of true worship. we are focused on the astethical things, and not the things of God's heart, which is what worship is to help bring us too.

i think he is totally right.
so i'm seeking how to live this out.

but this picture....
it's horrible. i don't have words to cope with it. and this kind of abuse and suffering is so prevelant in the world. i want to hold onto this picture cause it totally takes out the legs from under me.

i live in a culture that keeps pushing me towards the ridiculous and shallow. i should know more about paris hilton and who's hot or not instead of what it means to be truly human. i'm told to keep buying ridiculous shit for myself (skymall!) instead of learning how to give to those in need. this picture gets me to the heart of the debate really quick.

therefore, i don't want it to leave me.

i hate that i'm so groomed to resist suffering and pain.
but the truth is... at least in this lifetime, this is where we find God and we can save our souls from a meaningless spiral downward into self indulgence.

i wish i knew this boy.
i pray for his life.

Miscellaneous Awesome

2007-08-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

I had the wierdest day today... and as i'm sitting here going through stacks of paper... i just want to write it down. mostly to get it out of my head befor i go to bed...

* i had the strangest dream last night. i wish i wrote it down this morning when i could have remembered it all. in the dream some accident had happened to me and my friends. i had gone into a coma (although i did not know this). when i woke up (in my dream) i found out that i had lived and everyone else had died. it was very sad. the saddest was not knowing and having my other friends tell me what had happened while i was in a coma. i woke up very sad this morning. i wanted to tell my wife in the darkened bedroom... but i didn't want to bum her out either

* i went to prayer. i meet with a group of people on tuesday mornings and we pray.... mostly for the city, but our lives come up as well. it struck me this morning how many of us are in transitional stages right now. in fact all of us were. new jobs. new homes. new communities. new geographical locations. transitions are always hard because the rythym of your life is off and eveything seems very up in the air.

* my friend brian was visiting from california so i let him have my care today as i was working a lunch shift at the green lake bar and grill. we stopped by my studio on the way to work to drop off some art supplies and to pick up a painting that my manager wants to buy. i also gave brian another painting that was just sitting around. he loved it. it was one of the VW paintings.

* my manager today said that when he gets back from greece (which he's leaving for in a week) he wants to go out with me and justin ( the bartender) and get really drunk. i told him i was game but i wasn't a fun drunk. i just get tired. but if we went karoaking....

* my coworker megan gave me these random encouraging words today... about how much she likes working with me and she thinks i'm awesome. it's wierd when you feel uneventful, even blah, and yet there are people around you who perceive you differently....

* i got off of work and skateboarded home... still wearing my tie.

* brian was at home when i got there and we cruised over to green lake for a swim. i usually swim half the lake, out to this buoy, and then back. he kept right along and almost beat me. while we were out there, i had totally forgot to look out for crew boats.... and while we were sleeping them came by. the boat people get a little cocky... they have the mentality that they own the place. i whistled in mockery of them....

* driving brian to the airport.... he gave me a bunch of cool music this week. we were listening to some gabriella and so and so (can't remember)... which is kickin classical guitar music. brian asked, "how do you classify this kind of music?" I said that you could make a "miscellaneous awesome" folder.

* while we were driving, we were in slow traffic driving on this over pass by the downtown. down below, i saw these two dudes beating up another guy. he had blood coming out of his mouth and he yelled "help!" to the cars passing. i yelled "hey" out my window, but the other two guys didn't stop or flinch or anything. i saw the main aggressor just deck the guy across the other guys face. i couldn't stop though. i was in moving traffic and about 25 ft above them. we just had to keep going. it was so depressing. we both felt sick to our stomachs with powerlessness.

*holly and i made tacos together for dinner. we invited about four other people to join, but nobody could come. we were the only ones around....

* our friend annie just moved in down in the basement apartment. she is super swamped, as we all are, and there is a lot of cleaning and fixing things that needs to happen. especially her bathroom. we basically need to scrap the whole wall in the shower and tile it. also the light was broken. we rolled to fred meyers and got the paint remover. we fixed the light but i spent time scrapping and scrapping.... it has to be one of the most suckiest jobs i've done. it's still not done though.... not for a while. so annie has to come up and use our bathroom. i think she's cool with it. we just want her place to rock. we are excited to have her her.

*holly wants to go to bed and i'm writing this blog. so i should end.

not a monumental day in the history of man. but just a strange one to live.
if you read this whole thing, you have a better attention span than me.

SMALL

2007-08-21T09:42:00.001-07:00

i was at a christian music festival last weekend painting a fifteen foot mural over the weekend. it's kind of weird for a painter to be there i know.... but i was in the worship tent. there are a lot of things that come to mind when i use phrases such as "christian music festival" and "worship tent".... it actually kind of gives me a stomach ache. if you were to ask me what i thought it was that i was doing, i would tell you that i was asked to listen to God and to make an art piece on what i heard and saw from Him. and that's just what i did.

this might also be a strange statement, but God has been training me over the last years in the prophetic. now when we talk about "prophecy", we are not talking about telling the future. A Prophetic word or speaking the prophetic is just revealing God's word to a person or people. It's always backed up with scripture, so something that God has already said, and it's conveying it in a present way to which God wants to speak to something. so since the nature of what i do is sit and listen to God, and then create what i see, i have come to see that part of what God has me doing is being a prophetic voice for Him. It's not glamorous at all... but it does bring you to crazy places.....

This weekend, the pictures i got were all out of Revelation. so some might think they are future telling... and they could very well be. but do you know what the whole title for revelation is? it's not just "revelation" as in revelations just about whatever. the title of the book is "the revelation of Jesus Christ". (see rev 1:1). so this book is about revealing who Jesus is.

i'll try to post some pictures of the mural and link it to this blog... but the content of the painting coudl be another post. i do think the message was important.

what i wanted to comment on is how God's prophecy is revealed.

so i'm in this tent, off to the side of all the main stage stuff... where rock/alt christian bands are playing their sets and talking about the merch and latest cd.... and i'm by myself most of the days. the first few times i painted, i think there were like 3 seven year olds just hanging out watching me. they seemed to like it. they said they did anyway.

but it was just strange from my perspective. i've been spending all week praying and i'm getting these intense images and scripture passages.... it's all a very intense process. but when it comes time to reveal and create it... nobody's there. the revealing is small quite revelation. at first it was very humbling... because i struggle with wanting others to know the "importance of me" and what i'm doing... so that has to be taken care of. but after we got all through that, i was able to ask the lord what's up with this? why give me all this intense stuff, and have nobody see it?

i started to think back to my readings of jeremiah, isaiah, and ezekiel... thinking of all the strange things that god asked them to do. things like build minature cities or rip clothes and other odd things. i wonder how many people were around to see these things? probably not many. and there was for sure no grand music sountrack playing and non of it was on the jumbo screen at a packed out arena.

it took place in small ways in the midst of all the busy bigness of our lives.

i think we are often looking for God's voice in big obvious ways. and the big obvious ways that we get information or hear from others are through large media outlets and events. so we see christians adopt this same format and use these outlets for sharing their message. and i'm not saying that that is wrong. But in my short life with God, and as i come to know Him more and more, and see how He works, it seems to me that He is speaking and revealing things all the time... it's just not always on the "mainstage".

so we can go through life looking to the mainstage for God's messages.... and it might be on the outskirts in small ways. ways that we don't even recognize or give value to. but when His word and will have come to pass, we will see in retrospect His communication all throughout our day.

we just missed it.

my prayer is for eyes to see Him in the quiet small ways all around this life.
my hope for you is the same thing. May you hear and see an infinite God speaking into a finite loud world with His whispering small ways.

turning 30

2007-08-03T11:18:00.000-07:00

i turned 30 yesterday with no big hub bub or fireworks show. Sometimes you think big events are supposed to happen in big ways... but most of the time they just pass like everyday events. It feels like a big deal to me though. Maybe it's my hope of something different. It's a new decade... the 20's have gone. They were great, but kind of a bi-polar decade. Great ups, painful downs.... I've heard that your 30's are a little more even keel. I hope so. I also hope they bring in a stepping up. Doing art, learning to be an artist... these things have been difficult. And not that i dont' think they won't continue to be that way... i guess i'm hoping to a least jump up to some new level of success and to keep moving. I feel like i've been in a rut lately. so who knows. that's my prayer anyway.

This is totaly cliche and cheesy, and not even good theology... but one thing that gives me hope is that Jesus didn't start his "ministry" until he was thirty. Now i'm not trying to say that 30 is the holy number to get your life going... but it does say something about timing, maturing, etc. i'm not going to write a book about it, it's just something that gives me a little hope in the possibilities of tomorrow.

with that... welcome 30's....

Kenay - i love my team

2007-07-22T08:32:00.000-07:00

i just wanted to say that i really enjoyed my team that i went with on the Heart for Africa trip. We all had our little american/canadian quarks that we dealt with... but all in all they kicked butt in the work that was given to them, and they loved the kids and people with full hearts.

you can be my wingman anytime.

mad love

scott

Kenya - GRATITUDE

2007-07-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

GRATITUDE

One of the things i like about cross-cultural experiences is how much it shows me that i have been molded by a certain culture. More pointedly, american culture. We all are affected by the culture in which we grow up in, wherever it may be in the world. The crux is we adopt this stand point as normal, and that all others outside of that are weird or even worse, wrong. I think it’s a totally beneficial investment to take yourself outside of your culture so you can examine your beliefs, your habits, your actions, and see how they stand up in the face of another society.

One of the things i hear over and over on this trip is “these people have so little” or even “they have nothing.” This statement is true by the standards in which we live in the united states. Most of the people we interact with have two sets of clothes, they live in a house either put together with mud brick, cut stone, or tin sheets of metal. Most have a dirt floor. They have a piece of land that they farm. And some have animals such as goats, chickens, and if you are lucky, a cow. So to our standard of living, where we all “must” have an ipod, they do have very little.

This is how a lot of the world lives though. But let’s not go down that road. What strikes me about this situation is the reaction from the americans who come across this situation and see the demeanor of the people who live here. They are shocked to find on the faces of people joy and gratitude. I will say that you see hardship, pain, and need. That is there as well. But the people that we met with on the whole, at the orphanage, at churches, grandmothers in their home.... they were full of joy.

This was shocking to our group. Many exclaimed this in our nightly debriefing times. I found this curious. I share some of the same responses, so it’s not a foreign thought to me. But i guess in my previous travels i have already delt with this question of joy in the face of hardship.

I think why this attitude is so shocking to us is because we equate material possessions and standard of living with the amount of joy we have. And why wouldn’t we adopt this stance? We are fed this everyday. The one thing that i have come to discover about america is that we are a people who are trained to live in a state of discontent. Everything that is fed to us media wise – print, audio, television, movies – has a goal to make us feel like we lack something, and that something which is the answer to our discontent is the thing that they want us to buy, watch, or adhere too. You can see this all around us and you can even hear it in the way we talk. Ever heard of shop therapy? Because of this, our equation for gaining joy has been placed in the consumption or attaining of goods.

The rural Africa that we were in stood in the face of this belief, and it took some of our group by surprise. I think this is because people started to see something deeper in the spiritual lives of the people we were around... something that calls out our own consumer spirituality.

(before i make my point, i want to just say that i don’t think that these people should have to stay were they are at because they have joy. There are grave injustices going on in the poor places around the world. These people may have very little, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. And i’m not talking about having a GAP and a Whole Foods move down the street, and eveyone given an IPOD. But these people have a lack of clean water, sanitation complications, and a very difficult time achieving any kind of decent education. These kinds of things should be available to all peoples around the world. I’ve heard some americans comment on the joy of the people they have met and have decided that all is fine because these people express joy in the midst of the situation. This is a stupid and callous response. One’s response to a situation does not mean that the situation is fine. Ok... off this tangent.)

What i think that is is GRATITUDE.

What i hear overwhelmingly in the language of Africans who trust in God is a deep belief that God is gracious and loving, and has them in His hands. Many of these friends live on a day to day basis.... living in a state of hope and seeing their needs taken care of everyday. They do not speak about their consistent paychecks and their hope in their investments which will take care of them when they retire. They speak of an individual (who they seem to know well) who knows their situation, who knows what they need, who hears their sorrowful prayers and they celebratory songs, and they live their lives with their hands open.... trusting in this unseen Father.

We might scoff with the simple-mindedness of this lifestyle. It’s comical in the face of the complex world that we live in. And yet those of us who comment on this find ourselves spirituall empty and lost, continuing in our rat race for acceptance, worth, and meaning in the pursuit of material things.

The fact of the matter is living in the tension of hope for tomorrow leads us to a deeper spirituality of faith, trust, and love. And from that we adopt a lifestyle of gratitude.... which gives us a deeper joy. I’ve come to understand that the world of plenty and choice that i live in can squelch the spirituality and relationship with God that I hope to have in my life. I have to make conscious choices in what i buy, how a spend, my stance on wealth, what i read, what i listen too, etc etc. not because i’m some anal nit picky christian who lives his life with a arrogant stick up my butt. No. because i can see the framework of hedonistic pursuits can lead me to a dead soul and a joyless existence.

“ Not that i speak from want, for i have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and i also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstances i have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”
The Apostle Paul, Phillipians 4:11-13

“Rejoice always; pray without ceasing; in everything give thanks; for this is god’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Paul, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

day 3 in kenya

2007-07-13T08:24:00.000-07:00

Friday july 13

It’s 4 am and i’m wide awake..... which sucks cause at 5pm tonight i am going to be dead tired. The jet lag is annoying this time. I guess i always forget about it. but we have an hour and a half bus ride to the tumaini orphanage and all i want to do is nap during that time. I should have brought some caffeine pills.

It’s day three of being here. We are in a town called varnaisha which is about three hours north of nairobi. We are staying at a hotel that is simple and pleasant.... holly and i have a full size bed that we are sharing which has been delight.

Our team is working at the tumaini orphanage. The orphanage is two buildings which houses about 50 orphans. Most of these kids have become orphans because their parents have died from AIDS. They figure that there are about 1.2 million orphans in kenya due to AIDS, which is a staggering number.

The team is split up into groups and people are doing a variety of things. Most worked in the field planting crops. One of the great things about kenya is that you can plant food all year. The orphanage is very into sustainable gardening.

My job has changed over the last two days. I thought i was coming in a doing about 6 days of work with kids – art lessons and having them make pieces that we can sell in the US. Now i have three days to work with them, they want us to repaint the walls in the room we are meeting in, i’m doing a heart for africa mural, and i’m painting three nights during speakers. This is all fine and doable. I think i just get lazy when the jetlag hits in. last night when i was painting during the sharing time, i felt dizzy and nauseous... not fun when painting.

The kids we had yesterday were great. I ran some of the older ones through some drawing exercises and they did awesome. i would like to do more but we don’t really have the time. And i was thinking that learning to draw is hard, laborious, and it can be boring. It’s not boring per say. It’s more like, to play in a concert which is awesome, you need to have hours and hours of practice to get it right. Learning the skills of art is practice practice practice... which looks like a lot of eye studies and learning how to see the world and translate is to a medium. Anywho, i don’t want to bore the kids.....

I’m not sure what to even write about right now. This trip hasn’t been anything epic for me. Not that it should be but i guess there is some part of you that believes you should be having these “ah” moments all the time. Others who have shared have had them.... i guess the poverty for them has been very eye opening, and that’s great. What do you do though when you’ve already experienced it? i feel like i’m here to accomplish a job and i want to do it well. frankly, i don’t feel like i’m that stellar of an artist to do it, but that’s just the artist self-doubt creeping in. or the enemy.

I just wish i could sleep so i could be 100% today.

first day in nairobi

2007-07-11T08:23:00.000-07:00

July 11
Wednesday

After 20hours of traveling... here we are. Nairobi. It’s 6 in the morning but i’ve been up for about an hour. I was awakened by the early morning muslim prayer at 5:15. such a strange phenomenon.... to be sitting in your lightly illuminated room listening to this prayer song echoing across the city. So foreign. Yet my time here feels so familiar. It’s been a little less than a year ago that i was here with jeremy and david. And yet i feel like i know the place. It is true that fear in traveling really just comes from unfamiliarity.

I just woke holly up from typing. She’s going to take a shower. I can’t wait for mine. I’m still a bit groggy from the whole traveling experience. A shower and some good kenyan coffee will do me wonders. One good thing about traveling to kenya is they have killer coffee and tea. Not watered down stuff like you find all over the states. But rich dark tasty black coffee. I know there are other things to focus on while here, but being a seattle coffee snob, i appreciate the brew.

There is one thing that i want to write about this morning.... and it will probably get me in trouble later on... and reveal what a cynic i am... but i want to write about how much i hate traveling in large american groups. I’ve lived over seas a few times in my life so far. When i was 18 i lived in strasbourg france for 7 months. The great thing about living in a foreign city is after awhile, you fit in. you get how things are done and run, and it gives you perspective on how you act and the culture that you come from and act out from. When in france, i could always pick out the americans. One they didnt’ look european... so that helps. And two... they are so stickin loud! Everywhere they go, if they are in a large group, there volume level is above everyone else.

I must admit that i was just like that as well. when i was 15 i went with a christian mission group to scotland and worked alongside other local churches. The group leaders were very cool and had a lot of cross-cultural experiences. On of the things we talked about early on was how loud we could all be in public places. It was a struggle for me a first but i remember being in the glasgow train station and being next to another group of americans, a realizing “man, they are really loud.”

So that’s one aspect of the group we met up with. I must say that they are a great group and i am looking forward to getting to know them better. A vast majority of our group is younger than 18 and i think that has something to do with the noise level as well.

My second thing about big american groups is the matching t-shirts. From living in europe , i see that our american fashion style is very lazy and sloppy. So when we showed up in brussels with all of our matching t-shirts and name tags, i just couldn’t take it any longer and i went and changed in the bathroom. My own issues, i know. I get the reason we all wore matching shirts – so we could recognize each other and be able to stay together on a long journey. But why do shirts have to be so ...”american” looking? My advice: smaller logos and black shirts. The heart for africa shirts are black, so way to go. And despite my own finiky desires, the shirt where brough about quite a few questions from fellow travelers ... so maybe it’s worth it.

In the nairobi airport though, there was another group from the georgia that had matching tan shirts. And on the back was a verse about them bringing light to the nations in really big letters. Now if you were at your local airport, and you saw a group of goofy matching looking foreigners wearing shirts that say they are bringing light to your nation (refering to you as dark), would you think that was a little egotistical? I would. That’s a weird thing about american missions as well.... this unconscious belief that we have so much to bring.

In my experience with cross-cultural experiences, i feel like i know enter into places feeling like i have so much to learn. So much to listen to and reflect on. I feel very humbled coming into kenya. What about a t-shirt with small writing that says “blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” That seems more appropriate.

Ok. Shower time.

going to kenya

2007-07-06T09:38:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot of change in the last few weeks. things that i thought i was going to be doing have not transpired... and i'm left with a big open next year. this can be a scary thing.... especially for those who believe they are in control of their lives. i am not one of those... but i do believe that a certain amount of life is responding to that which is in front of you, walking in the ways that are open, and being the change you would like to see in the world.

i realized a bit ago that the only real walls that are holding me back are the ones i have set up. somewhere in my subconscience i said "i can't do that" or "that's impossible"... and so i didn't do it.

and here i am.

so in this next year, i am going to toss those walls away and see what happens. i'm not sure what the goals are, but i'll keep you posted.

until then, i am going to kenya for a few weeks. i'm working with heart for africa and doing art projects at an orphanage where the finished art will be taken back to atlanta and shown in a gallery there. it's part of a big show that will hopefully raise money for further orphanage work.

and....

well, i ran out of time for this blog. i plan on writing down my experiences for the next two weeks. i'll keep you posted on what comes up....

peace

scott

an artists life can suck...

2007-04-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

i know i need to write more on this. life has been crazy and the last thing i want to do is get on line and write it all down... but here i am doing it. holly is studying. i am emailing. rap is playing as other people converse. Free Ballard!

the reason for my general malais is my tax situation. no one ever told me or showed me how to run my own business.... so again this year i find myself suffering from not managing my taxes very well. it's not like i'm rolling in the dough... it hasn't been because of neglect. it's more like saving for the year isn't the first thing on your mind when you're barely scraping by every month.

oh well. i don't mean to complain. somewhere right now there is a little 9 year old thai girl being forced to have sex with an american foreigner... so considering, i'm golden.

that was a sobbering thought.

hmm... i must pray....

this financial stuff just feels more like a sucker punch to the ego, you know? it's really hard being an artist. first, i have a little voice in my head that is constantly telling me that i need to get a real job. and i don't have a huge group of voices to counter that in my life. more just like the Spirit and my wife holly... but she even has limits to the little money that comes in (and rightly so). secondly, creating is exhausting. it's a constant pouring out of yourself. like this week... i've just needed a few chill days to restore myself before i'm in the bump and grind of another three weeks of creating. and thirdly... i think this is the hardest and what's hitting me now... is you step out and try your best to create and do it.... really put yourself out there and trust this is what the Lord has led you into.... but when you hit those walls... it's totally devasting.

i feel there now.

holly and i talked about me finding more work.
i'm totally up for it and know that more money needs to come in. it's just hard to ignore that voice that tells you your endeavors just couldn't quite validate your monitary needs... and therefore... you've failed.

i know this is a lie. it's just a humbling place to be. i'm sure i'll feel differently in two days. it's just tonight, writing on this blog.... i'm in a real fragile place.

i went and saw the Frames last night at the showbox. they are one of holly and i's favorite bands.
they have this great song called "i want my life to make more sense to me."

i'm so there right now.

night ya'll

The Jilted Lover

2007-03-26T13:09:00.000-07:00

This painting is about the groom... Jesus

In the book of Philippians in the Bible, a man named Paul talk about Jesus

"Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness. "

The unfathomable God, wrapped Himself in this finite flesh and bones....
The all powerful became fragile...
The beginning and the end took on the form of the decaying and dying....

All to marry us.

Humanity and God were one in the Garden. There was a great divorce. So God comes down in human form to speak to us about this eternal life with Him, takes away all the barriers and places the guilt on himself, and offers us marriage again (John 17:3)

In this painting, we see Jesus, the Almighty, as a new born.... new, weak, fragile... in this world coming with an engagement ring....

Coming to be rejected by most.

the Rejected lover. The Jilted Lover

Heart Transplant

2007-03-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

This has to do with sabbath and identity.

We have a PDA in place or the heart... on the PDA is "Sunday/ To Do/ Be productive"

Have you really ever tried to take a day off? Really... not do anything? By mid afternoon when i haven't called anyone, or emailed, or done something... i feel so worthless. i'm such a slave to productivity.

Alot of us are. We always are go go go. and when we aren't we freak out, become restless, or fall into some kind of depression.
So much of our identity is wrapped up in what we do. We have forgot how to just be. We have forgotten that in the silence the One from which we have all come from speaks to us about who He is and who we are in Him. This is where are value comes from. This day renews us to do the rest of the week where we are told so many other things.....

Affair

2007-03-26T12:58:00.000-07:00

The only time Jesus ever compares God with something else is when He says ,
"You cannot serve two masters. You cannot serve God and wealth."

This is our biggest mistress.
So much of our our security, purpose, attention, identity, time, energy, value is spent on wealth.

We are the bride of God.... and we are having an affair.

Made in the Image of Me

2007-03-26T12:46:00.000-07:00

This painting is about our view of self and others.
We live in a culture that is obsessed with what we look like on the outside... and often our image of ourself is based on those standards instead of the view of the Creator.
We strive to create our own worth through our own activities and accomplishments.... and we often hold these standards of worth to others as well.

We ignore the purpose of intent by the One who knits us in our mothers womb.
We ignore the joy and worth of the Creator.

The Value of $300

2007-03-26T12:40:00.000-07:00

This painting is about materialism.
It's not saying owning stuff is wrong. It more has to do with the end of Schindler's List. During this film, Schindler had been using his wealth to save the lives of Jews during the Holocaust. After it was all over... in this last scene, we see him looking though his goods, showing a pen, saying "see this pen. it has gold on it. i could have gotten two jewish lives for it."

The comment on this painting isn't about owning things... but more about do we know the value of what we have. For $300 you could buy an ipod, but you could also save the life of a child for a year. This truth exist... and we have to wrestle with the knowledge of this truth.

I wonder if we will have a moment of retrospect where we question the value of what we kept.

"Adultery of the Church" write up

2007-03-26T12:28:00.000-07:00

In December, I was in prayer and was pretty much downloaded these paintings.... God asking me to make them and put them out there. I struggled through each one personally as no creator can make something that communicates a message without first having to apply it to there own lives. It was a very humbling and sobbering experience.

I believe they communicate a larger message that God is saying through many different venues. The message is this:
we have left our first love... and He is calling His bride back to Him. He is a jealous husband and He will do whatever it takes to remove these obstacles of adultery from this relationship. We often allow these idols exist because of our comfort, security, and pride in ourselves. So if these things must go in order to bring us back... then they will be challenged.

My prayer and hope for these paintings is a response of repentence.

This is the write up I had at the show:

Read this:

“On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.”

'Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, "Live!" I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew up and developed and became the most beautiful of jewels. Your breasts were formed and your hair grew, you who were naked and bare.”

'Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign LORD, and you became mine.”

'I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put leather sandals on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was fine flour, honey and olive oil. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign LORD.”

'But you trusted in your beauty and used your fame to become a prostitute. You lavished your favors on anyone who passed by and your beauty became his. You took some of your garments to make gaudy high places, where you carried on your prostitution. Such things should not happen, nor should they ever occur. You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them. And you took your embroidered clothes to put on them, and you offered my oil and incense before them. Also the food I provided for you—the fine flour, olive oil and honey I gave you to eat—you offered as fragrant incense before them. That is what happened, declares the Sovereign LORD.”

'Woe! Woe to you, declares the Sovereign LORD. In addition to all your other wickedness, you built a mound for yourself and made a lofty shrine in every public square. You built yourself a high place at the top of every street and made your beauty abominable, and you spread your legs to every passer-by to multiply your harlotry. You engaged in prostitution with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, and provoked me to anger with your increasing promiscuity. So I stretched out my hand against you and reduced your territory; I gave you over to the greed of your enemies, the daughters of the Philistines, who were shocked by your lewd conduct. You engaged in prostitution with the Assyrians too, because you were insatiable; and even after that, you still were not satisfied. Then you increased your promiscuity to include Babylonia, a land of merchants, but even with this you were not satisfied."

'How weak-willed you are, declares the Sovereign LORD, when you do all these things, acting like a brazen prostitute! When you built your mounds at the head of every street and made your lofty shrines in every public square, you were unlike a prostitute, because you scorned payment."

'You adulterous wife! You prefer strangers to your own husband! EZEKIEL 16

Does this passage freak anyone else out? I mean, did you know this kind of language was in the Holy Bible?
And can God really say, “spread your legs... to multiply your harlotry”?

Apparently He can. This is a specific passage where God is speaking to a specific group of people, Israel. Awhile back He entered into a relationship with them, a commitment to be each other’s one and only, and now we see that Israel has breached that commitment and has “cheated” on Him.

What I find interesting about this passage is the language God uses. It’s not this booming stale voice from the sky like we picture from Monty Python films. But it’s this excruciatingly painful lament of a husband over his bride. In fact, we see at the end of this passage that God’s relationship with a people is viewed as a marriage.

I’m newly married myself and as my wife and I are on this journey, I’m finding my preconceived notions of what marriage is is falling away and being replaced with the reality of this commitment. And commitment is the biggest part. So with this reality, it seems to me that commitment context between a group of people and God is viewed in His eyes as an intimate, loving.... marriage.

I live thousands of years later from when this passage was written. And even though there is not a specific nation that God has chosen anymore, there are many people who have chosen to commit to Him and have in fact become His bride. This is a language that is used a lot in the North American Christian Church... that they are the “Bride of Christ.” If you had to peg me in somewhere I guess you could put me in this group... although I’m not always sure I want to be pegged with the North American church. The reason is there is so much garbage that has been mixed in with the true essence of knowing God... and it repulses me as much as the rest of society. But having been on this journey with the “Bride of Christ”, having seen what I’ve seen, and in light of this passage from the Bible, I have to look and ask myself, “Is there anything to convict us of being a whoring bride?”

These paintings are based on that question. These are muses on our own idols... the adulterous tendencies of the North American Church... the things that fall into the category of a relationship buster. They are an insider commentary on what we say we believe but where in reality we prefer strangers to our own husband.

They were made in the utmost humility and grief.

it's been so long....

2007-03-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

the last time i wrote something on this blog was two years ago... which seems like a lifetime ago. i guess i didn't really get into blogging to much. i don't know... it seems a bit narcissitic doesn't it? it's almost like a journal that nobody will read out of the millions and billions of other pieces of information out there. but oh well, why not? maybe there will be something helpful that i can put down that may inspire, counsel, or motivate someone else.....
maybe it will just be good to start journaling again.

anywho... it's good to be back in the game

scott

good times in nash-vegas

2005-02-13T11:26:00.000-08:00

i know it's been a week since i've been back... but i didn't want to let all of the two people who read this hanging on my last blog. nashville was awesome and it was worth the chunk of change i put down just to talk with a few people who are key in the music industry... well at least the areas where i'd like to help.

i want to say thanks to erik and emily for housing me on such short notice. em - it's ok to be young and to go to bed so early.... it doesn't mean you are getting old early.... no not at all. and erik - your my boy blue! what a cool friend to find so far away. i appreciated the day so much.

one thought i would like to share....
two things that tie together...

1. my friend shawn mcdonald is a musician who writes songs that would generally be put under the "christian" category, mostly because the contents of his songs are about God. but that's what means the most to shawn. a one time drug dealer and user, God came to shawn in a powerful way and changed his life. so as an artist draws from their heart and soul to create, why wouldn't he want to write songs about the greatest thing that has occured in his life? it's honest, real, and genuine....

2. in nashville, i went with erik to a christian booksellers of america convention at the grand ole opry hotel. if you don't know what this is, it's basically everything you would find at a christian bookstore, manufactured goods that have a spiritual or godly character to them. so we don't just have regular breath mints, but "testi-mints". comic books consisting of angel happenings, pictures of jesus helping surgeons in the OR... gross stuff like that. i say gross because it is... it is so irreverent towards God. here's why. because faith in jesus costs a lot to people all around the world. not so much here cause it's socially acceptable, which i believe is the reason such a sick market can spring up. i've been lucky enough to meet people in my life who have gone through such sufferings. i met a man in yugoslavia who was tortured for seven years (things like fingernails ripped out and hot tar poured on him) only because he claimed to be a christian in a communist country. so they took him away and tortured him. i met another man in estonia who was taken by the kgb and told his wife and daughter would be killed if he didn't stop pastoring. he went back and told his wife this.... and they both decided that they needed to keep going even if it meant losing their lives. so take these stories of huge personal sacrifice for the choice to claim belief in jesus, and then juxtapose it against an industry that makes money off "godly" goods... can you see how it's gross?

how do these two points tie together? as i've had time to meditate on what i saw and felt, i had a bit of an enlightenment. i've never been a big fan of "christian" music, mostly because it doesn't wrestle enough with life and usually the music is very sterile. also, you use to only find it in bookstores that permeate this sick religious culture. but what i saw this last week is that the heart of the songwriter, the one who is truly creating from the heart, is a genuine and wonderful thing. and if the person happens to want to sing about God, that is authentic and powerful. unfortunately the industry to get this music produced and distrubuted is in the same industry that makes religious crap goods, so people can miss the authenticness of this music. but no matter how lame the packaging, the honesty of the writer remains great and authentic.

so all this to say i have a new appreciation for those who create music about God. it's also hilarious to me that if you write positive songs about God that it's religious music, but if you write negative songs about God (example: tori amos, alice in chains, smashing pumpkins), that it is mainstream or without a category. everybody writes what they believe. if you don't believe in God, that is still a belief structure. if you do, it's another belief structure. but i know we need to categorize things like that.... i just met a lot of people who can't see that we all choose to believe in something. even bob dylan said we all gotta serve something. so really we all are a people of faith. the question should change from "what do you believe in" to "is what you believe in worth believing in?"...

walking by faith

2005-02-03T06:22:00.000-08:00

lion1, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

Wednesday… somewhere over the Midwest.

I’m amazed at the sites that we see in our lifetime. I’m on a plane presently, still enjoying the take off on this crisp Chicago night. Such wonders in the sky….

I’m on my way to Nashville which I can hardly believe. I’m going to paint with my friends late Tuesday just for one night and then I’m coming home. It’s costing me a pretty penny but I see it as a business venture. I’ve been talking to people in the music industry in Nashville about my ideas of experiential art, and it’s a good chance to connect with them and to get some exposure. If this was happening in Fresno… no way. But Nashville… she’s the golden jem.

It’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog and I’m making a commitment to at least try to keep up with it again. Admittingly it’s easier to do when you are traveling. Life seems to slow and the detail of it all stands out so much that you want to dissect everything. Home gets busy… too busy for reflextion I guess. Written reflextion anyway…

I put in my two weeks last week at the 5 spot which has brought about huge change. It was a hard decision… letting go of the stable job to go after the dream job of doing what I see in my mind as my occupation. I was so unsettled in my soul at the restaurant. I was burned out. I knew it was time to move on…. So I took a leap of faith.

Leaps of faith are interesting. I think there is this period after you do it where you get to freak out for awhile. Mine was two days. I was quiting my job and I didn’t know what I was doing next. Sure artwork, but I’ve never done anything like this before. But isn’t life like that – doing things that we haven’t done before. Fear keeps us from that adventure, that wonder. Fear keeps us doing the things we know how to do. Faith brings us beyond into the unknown…. So interesting that we cannot please God without faith (Hebrews 11:6)… I guess cause we start entering into the unknown when we try to be in sync with him.

But sure enough, when I’m just at the end of my freaking out, He shows up with plans that he has already been putting together…. Ah ha! He knew it all along. How faithful he is…

So I’m doing it…I’m becoming a full time artist. Man, it’s been years in the making, but it’s coming true. How come your twenties can suck so much? Well, they are really adventurous… not held down with too many responsibilities. But because of that lack of commitment, and I think a general lack of knowing ones self, they are a pretty uncertain time. But I guess the opposite of uncertainty is unwaivering monotony…. And I’m not interested in that.

I’m landing soon. I want to say a couple of thanks. Thanks koti hu and shawn mcdonald for telling me there stories of how they decided to make the leap into their music careers. Thanks holly for making me buy this ticket. Thanks joe haferbecker for always thinking of me as an artist.

Hello tennesee!

World AIDS Day

2004-12-02T15:19:00.000-08:00

atlanta face, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

december first was world AIDS day. i was hired by some people at SPU to come and paint during one of the presentations. Steve Haas, vice-president of World Vision, spoke and they had a band play. i painting the whole time. i did a painting like this one, but it had a different color scheme....

afterward, someone from the audience came up to me and asked me what goes on in my mind as i am hearing what steve is saying (maddening statistics and stories of loss and destruction in the lives of children in africa) and painting this picture? i'd like to share my thoughts with you...

there is something curious that happens when you create something. in making it, putting all the pieces together, solving visual problems... in all that activity, what happens is you fall in love with it. you fall in love with it cause you know it. i know that under the brown is a red base coat. i know that under all the paint is written "passivity is entropy." i know the story of how it all came together. i am intimately involved with it's coming into existence. therefore, i am attached... i love it.

so as i am in this process (and the audience as well, who is witnessing the creation process), and as i am hearing the stories of children and adults being wiped out by this disease, the two connect. the stories are no longer of strangers... in some way this face becomes the symbol of their story. his eyes looking at you are the eyes of millions of people looking towards... somewhere, anywhere, to help them. his shape and form represents the masses of real, tangible people who are each distinctly unique and wonderful in the eyes of their Creator. steve's stories are no longer just tales of fictional distant characters in some other plot in a different book... they are in the same story i am in... and ignoring their demise is not an option.

it's a powerful gift to be able to create - to bring something into existence. i thank jesus for allowing me to use this to serve Him in His work. reknown painter, Bo Bartlett, said, "the job of the artist is to wake the viewer up." that's the job i've been given... but i first need to be awake myself.

what are we going to do about AIDS and Africa?

2004-11-30T15:01:00.000-08:00

atlanta, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

atlanta youth specialties conference

do you know what's going on around the world but especially in africa with the AIDS virus? it's killing thousands of people a day. 8000 people die everyday from AIDS in africa, which creates 6000 new orphans everyday. shocking. disgusting actually.

it's hard to really digest these numbers, at least for me anyway. i don't think i actually can conceive such massive destruction. i would need tp be there to really take it all in, but i would probably keel over in shock and helplessness by the site of it all. i think that's probably what a lot of us feel - helpless and purposefully removed from the reality of it all. how can i, one person, possibly affect this huge emergency? this is a question that has been weighing on my heart for some time... months if not years it seems. what can i do as a 27 year old in seattle way across the world?

my prayers have been heard. it's amazing to me how God is so belittled by his creation sometime. if i am one finite, small, fragile, human being, and yet i can feel such pain for the injustice i see, it's amazing to me that i ever ask, "do YOU care about this?" the God who knows every emotion by every human... who sees every tear, every cry, every death, every laugh... who knows all the the hearts of all men... who sees every rape, every murder, every beheading, every trick of a prostitute, every slap of an abusive parent... He knows all. He experiences all. this leads me to believe that He is the most sensitive and caring being... He is the most emotionally in tune.

so then we ask, "why doesn't He do anything?" i can see two possibilites. one - he takes away or freedom and punishes everyone for their wrong doing, which ends up being everyone in all creation and existence as we know it ends in a ball of flaming justice... or He allows us to keep our freedom, provides us a way for forgiveness and restoration, and then involves us in changing the wrong into right...

sorry... this entry could easily change into a philosophical paper... i wanted to share that God has heard my prayers and is showing me how i, an artist, can assist in helping fight the AIDS epidemic.

i got to go with world vision last week to a youth specialties convention in atlanta to help them promote their One Life Revolution campaign. this campaign allows people to help AIDS orphans in Zambia by giving them a structure to raise money and have it go directly to the kids and their livlihood. so i went along to help with the promotion of this program by doing live paintings to gain peoples attention.

it was awesome. i did five paintings in two days and we had such an overwhelming response from people wondering if they could buy them, that we had a silent auction and raised $1360 total for the five paintings. all the proceeds went to the orphans.

i see great potential in this experience. i want to continue to work with non-profits to help them promote their cause and to help them raise money for it.

i think the way we help is use what gifts we have been given and just walk in them.

to my girlfriend

2004-11-12T12:21:00.000-08:00

bike best shot, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

holly and i started dating when we met up in amsterdam this last summer. this is a killer shot of us trying to ride a bike the way the dutch do. i wanted to include this picture because my blog wouldn't be complete without her.

i've been the perpetual bachelor for most of my life. all my friends have been marrying off and it's kind of been a joke that i would be forever single. but in my heart i knew i desired to love and be loved by someone... so a day came when i pledged to stop dating and i told God i wasn't going to date anymore until i met the one i was going to marry. i would just spend my time trying to love jesus more.

so here she is. our story is cool and you should all hear it sometime, so just ask and we'll share.

things i would like you to know about holly:
- her heart is huge and full of compassion for people, especially children. she's gifted with children like micheal jordan is gifted with a basketball. it's a joy to watch her in action and i learn so much just being around her.
-she's a talker which i love cause it draws me out of my interior self, which i can live in for hours.
-she's a good fit. especially at cuddling....mmm...
-she's a good friend
she loves to laugh, which means she will overcome any obstacle in life and open any door with everyone she meets.
-i think she's so damn sexy. the mysteries of womanhood are wrapped up in her small frame... every move she makes is graceful and beautiful.
- she can do a couple breakdance moves that are awesome!
- there are moments when i'm sharing with her my dreams... and she looks at me and i feel like i can do anything.

so there is my little ode to her. it might be sappy yes... but i don't care what others think. i always want to be sappily smitten over her and i will never be afraid to show it.

holly, my life is lighter with you in it.

more than a haircut

2004-11-11T22:59:00.000-08:00

so i got my haircut yesterday. a normal activity to all, yes? we've all gone in to whatever stylist we go to to trim away the ever growing hair that maifests out of our scalp. some more than others... sorry guys. it just happens.

getting your haircut is a weird experience. first i have a complete stranger create a new look for me when he or she does not know anything about my life. how do they know what i like? how do they know what i do? they don't, yet in a few inadequate sentences i'm supposed to describe to them what i want to look like on a day to day basis. can't i just say, "make me look hot," and they should instantly go at it. no they can't, cause "hotness" is a subjective opinion. try describing how you want your hair cut in another language... it's near impossible.

luckly this day, brendan didn't feel like talking and neither did i. it was a nice change from the shallow chit chat that goes on when you get your haircut. it's a forced intimacy i still don't know how to deal with. i mean, they are right there, creating my image, and i can't really say "hey, i don't feel like talking. do you mind if you do your thing and i do mine?" no it's either conversation or silence. luckily i got silence.

i guess the wierd thing about my cut is that i felt depressed at the end of it. for one thing i never really like my haircut when i first get it. i know it will grow out and eventually look better, but right when i'm down i feel a sense of embarrassment and a feeling "why did i ask for so much off?" this has become normal part of the experience for me. i ran this thought by my friends and they disagreed saying they always felt better at the end of their cut. wierd. maybe i need to find a new place. i guess a few times i walk out thinking i look good, but usually i feel disappointment in the finished product. at least it's shorter...

this time was the same, but i noticed something. i'm forced to stare at my face for a good half hour... and i find that depressing. it seems as the time passes i feel worse and worse about myself. it's like i'm being forced to notice the imperfections and i can't look away. i don't know, does anyone feel me on this? maybe i'm weird and i'm the minority who doesn't like to look at themselves all day. there are times when i think i look good. it's mostly in airplane bathrooms. the light in their is great... i feel like i'm in a modeling shoot. maybe it's the closeness of the mirror... i don't know. but then there are times when i look into the mirror and i think "ugh, maybe i should get an extreme makeover." it's like photographs. how come some photographs i look awesome in and some i look gastly? am i only good looking half the time in reality and the other half i look less than great? or is it just a constant mediocre? strange thoughts... but none the less i was glad to not be looking at myself any longer when i walked back outside into the crisp autumn air.

anywho, it was a strange event. smalll compared to the rest of my days events. but impactful non the less.

friday surf retreat

2004-11-02T15:54:00.000-08:00

IMG_0055, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

i headed out early friday morning for some solitude and waves. the drive to westport is long and that sometimes is very frustrating. but when you want to get away and think and pray, the drive can be quite quieting to ones soul.

few have ever really seen this part of my life so i thought i'd take a picture this time. it's 44 degrees outside and i have just gotten out of the water. the waves were small but fun on this day. there was a long lull between swells and i spent that time praying and watching the pelicans ride the wind that hovers over the water.

my best ride that day
i was dropping into a wave and i thought it was going to break on me before i could get up and turn to the left... but i went for it anyway. as soon as i made my turn to the left, i could feel the wave crash just behind me which left me right in front of the curl. it was such a great feeling riding along, sensing the wave billowing over and over behind you, roaring the whole time.

it was a good day. i left with peace in my soul.

halloween 2004

2004-11-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

IMG_0069, originally uploaded by scotterickson.

we are a frightening bunch, aren't we

my first blog

2004-11-02T14:58:00.000-08:00

so this is my first blog. i guess i have been blogging all my life, but it's never reached cyberspace. but i have finally entered in to the 21st century..... yeh me. so i'll try to and a picture too.